Good morning. It’s Friday, and I got a kick out of Doug Emhoff’s awkward photo with Tommy Trojan. Onto the five USC, Los Angeles, and California stories you need to know for today.

1.

Electric scooter thefts are soaring in LA, and nowhere is harder hit than USC. University Park led the city’s 22% increase in thefts last year, reporting 206, which was more than double the next-highest neighborhood. Also in the top 10 were Exposition Park (fourth) and Adams-Normandie (seventh).

Madhri Yehiya / Crosstown

2.

Conservative provocateur Charlie Kirk will set up shop next to Tommy Trojan during his Monday afternoon visit. Students are predictably split on his arrival. One student, who previously went viral for a heated interaction with Kirk, said she plans to “roast” him again. Another said she hopes the MAGA star can “enlighten” the student body.

Staff / Annenberg Media

3.

Former LA Fire Chief Kristin Crowley appealed Mayor Karen Bass’ decision to can her over her handling of the Palisades fire. Her appeal is unlikely to pass the City Council, but it’s expected to serve as a “fuck you” to Bass that’ll escalate the post-wildfire turmoil for the beleaguered mayor.

Staff / Los Angeles Times

4.

Fresno police arrested two men accused of posing as ICE agents for a social media video and harassing local businesses. It’s not the first incident of its kind. Earlier this month, asshole YouTuber Danny Mullen posed as a DOGE staffer, barged into San Francisco City Hall, and demanded that staff turn over computer files.

Thaddeus Miller / The Fresno Bee

5.

A USC study found that extreme heat accelerates aging at a molecular level in the human body — bad news, of course, as climate change cranks the global thermostat. Researchers estimated that older adults who live in temperatures above 90 degrees for over a third of the year could age up to 14 months faster than cold-weather peers.

Mohana Ravindranath / The New York Times